Innovation, Delivered.
Half Baked
Muffin Werkz is a future-focused idea lab dedicated to the advancement of cutting-edge muffin technologies.
We specialize in high-volume data acquisition of liquid intake—primarily White Claws—using proprietary, in-house developed methods that are poorly documented but fiercely defended.
Over the years, we have partnered with numerous organizations to develop large purchase orders, with a proven track record of never fulfilling them. This allows us to remain agile, unencumbered, and mostly unsupervised.
You can trust Muffin Werkz to responsibly drink your money away.
We cannot promise results—but we can promise you’ll laugh.
Mike Morey
CEO
A grizzled fuck-up turned reluctant genius with over three goddamn decades of getting his hands dirty, Mike Morey has bullshitted his way through advising his dumbass self, his idiot buddies, and the rare clueless pro on everything from tech clusterfucks and half-assed infrastructure hacks to money pits, artsy-fartsy bullshit, and those blurry-eyed 3 AM rants about how Israel ******** ** **** ** *********** *****
As the self-appointed Dictator, Founder, and Sole Overlord of Muffin Werkz, he runs the whole shitshow from top to bottom—strategy, half-baked execution, quality control that’s basically “eh, good enough,” scavenging supplies, and screaming obscenities at broken gadgets until they submit out of sheer terror. His so-called leadership? It’s all about jury-rigged fixes, MacGyver-level bullshit, and pulling the plug right before the flames engulf everything.
Mike slapped together and still half-heartedly oversees a chaotic mad-scientist den where he dicks around with high-risk experiments, abandoned Frankenstein projects, and contraptions that defy physics but limp along anyway because fuck you, that’s why. His half-cocked resume spans audio screw-ups, networking nightmares, automation abortions, fabrication fuckery, and comms catastrophes—usually bleeding into each other, rarely by design.
Hailed (mostly in his own booze-soaked delusions) as the go-to asshole for no-bullshit engineering, cheap-ass overengineering, and “I fucked that up so you don’t have to,” Mike bulldozes through tangled messes with a mix of nosy prying, eye-rolling doubt, and just enough liquid courage to say “hold my beer” and dive in. Before this gig, he slummed it in a string of bullshit titles like pain-in-the-ass fixer, crash-test dummy, duct-tape wizard, and the prick who already botched it and can warn you why it’ll blow up in your face.